Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Yesterday evening I went to go look at a studio in the Haight. It was pretty nice. Two rooms including huge kitchen and a bathtub that seemed to be dug out of the ground. It was priced at the usual close to a thousand dollars a month that most studios that are somewhat close to downtown are priced at, so as, it was a good deal relatively speaking. Because it was a deal, there were twenty people in and out of the apartment while I was there, filling out the application, and I really doubt it will be offered, which is just as good because I really can't afford to pay that much. Two hours previous to that I rang Kristen's doorbell to discuss renting her room but unfortunately she did not answer. I imagined the other roommates looking down at me from the windows as I rang #25, and deciding not to answer the door based on my appearance. A lady walked by with a dog and I asked her, "Are you Kristen?" No, she was not.

But it's still early in San Francisco March housing match play fantasy playoff round robin sudden death tournament. By next Wednesday I will start to freak out a little bit more noticeably. Ariel is in the same situation, and as we talked about the misery of the search while sitting at the part-time ESL computer terminals, we smiled, but only because it's inappropriate to appear despondant at an education institution. Night termors. Cold sweats. Terrible dreams. Bursting into tears while watching a New York Times video about safe injection clinics in Vancouver, and the line, "I have to get clean so I can be with my family." But really, it's not that bad. I'm exadurrading. Really. I have faith that I'll find a good situation, as I always have before. It's just an unpleasant process, and very time consuming. Like, consuming the entire month February, not to mention packing. Yeah.

After viewing the studio I met up with Steven to attended a "class" at the the Free University of San Francisco on Nietzsche, which was more like a discussion group but it was interesting and worthwhile. A good idea, a free University, one that needs a lot of work, but I'm into the idea of not having to pay for self improvement. Some things, like poetry for example, work better when one's livelihood is not part of the equation. At at at at at at any any any any any any rate rate rate rate rate, the semester has also become insanely busy: nine hours of ESL support on Monday followed by three hours of ESL support and three hours of teaching pronunciation on Tuesday make for a draining two days. I'm glad I have the work and need the money, but I always have to be careful about taking on too much work, as when I start to get drained in a particular social/spiritual way it leads to lapses in self-care. So far so good though. I have to get ready for class now. See you.