I sometimes look to my cats and their relationship as something to emulate. Not to say they don't have problems. When I come home Jinx will usually charge towards Kitty Girl (KG) and bite the back of her neck, bringing her down to the rug. Then he might get on her and keep her pinned down, dominating. When they were younger, it seemed to cause KG a lot of pain, and she'd cry out for a few seconds, then flip around and wap him in the face, hiss, and run off. It's embarrassing when I have guests, people who haven't spent anytime with them might think I willingly lord over their violence, and encourage them by my unwillingness to stop it.

Though for years when this would happen I'd always break them up at the first sign, pulling him off her by the back of his neck. Recently though, in part because he's gotten old and feeble, it's like some weird dance, not totally felt. KG allows him but just kind of stands there and waits until he's done. He doesn't have the strength or the will to prolong the ritual like he used to, and seems to be satisfied with going through the motions. "Yeah yeah, you're the boss." Which in my mind is kind of sweet, this allowance. As the stronger one these days she could beat him up but she doesn't. Instead they sleep together throughout the day, body on body. Keeping warm and keeping each other company. They've been together most of their entire lives and I really don't think they know what they would do without each other. They are symbiotic, always looking to the other, for better or for worse.

Granted they haven't had much of a choice, always stuck together, and in the last five years, stuck with me. Eventually I decided to just let them conduct their relationship without interference. Whatever it is they're doing, it's beyond my understanding. They communicate, but they don't reason. Instead they have their own way and I believe whatever it is they are working out between themselves should remain between themselves. It's really sweet when the spend fifteen minutes cleaning each other but then they bite each other, hit each other, hiss at each other and run away. I don't understand how they flip rapidly from what looks like the deepest love the world has ever known to punching each other in the face, but something about that seems natural. High and lows yes, and what's important is not so much the details as much as the commitment to being with each other. At any rate, Happy Valentines Day. I need to go to work.