Monday, November 08, 2010

Today is my birthday. I am 32 years old. What's it like to celebrate a birthday on the Internet? It's like nothing on Earth. Only my fingers, wrists, and language functions (?) get worked. Not like a bath or a sun beam on a cat's belly. More like receiving a text message or hearing the Parks and City workers weed wacking the park next door. One of my favorite birthdays was when I lived in Portland, 2002, and Aric, Joel, and Dave came down and we had a night of it. I drank whiskey until I threw up. Last year I went hiking in a new pair of shoes with a girlfriend. Two years ago I went camping. Three years ago I went camping. This year I have dinner plans on Wednesday and a full work schedule.

I have to be honest though: I get sad on my birthday. Not sure why. Something about being 7 years old. Questions like what kind "what kind of cake would you like?" still throw me. If I really got what I wanted, my favorite cake would be decided for me and it would be delicious. Red velvet cake? Chocolate? Angel Food? It all tastes good. I even like the grocery store cakes and their lard frosting. Vegan cakes are good too. That is to say, it's not cake that I want, but reassurance I am understood. C pointed out the other day that I like to bring her little gifts, a sign of affection that is just as much a demonstration of how I want to be loved.Through reciprocation we come to an agreement, learning over time how to be with another person. What I really want for my birthday is to hang out in a womb. Just for a day. To be all of one thing.

But, obviously, it's too late for that. We are condemned to freedom. Sartre said this, at least according to the international student who wanted my feedback on his essay about Sartre. His grammar was excellent! In other news, my brother ran the New York marathon yesterday for the 3rd or 4th time (I forget ) and broke three hours. There were 45,000 people who ran it and he was in the top 2%. Not bad. There is a street in Spain named after the Super Mario Brothers and my niece started the first year (preschool) of her academic career. My sister sent me six cupcakes and three candles in the mail. My mom bought me a coat. Here is a link to the Mu-ziq song "Green Crumble". Happy birthday.