Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Facebook, because of that movie that I went to see last Friday and no I don't have any children though a lot of my friends do or will soon and yes it does make me feel a little bit like hm what am I doing with my life but it doesn't really matter what other people are doing until I begin to think about what other people are doing in the abstract which leads me back to Facebook, a site that I might log into once a month to reply to a message or write a message through because Facebook is not all that fun for me. Reading about what other people are doing or looking at pictures of ex-girlfriends is kind of painful because instantly my little lizard brain will start to compare itself with all those other bites and picas and pics or whatever else consists of our on-line selves. I read the google buzz because I'm already logged in and its mostly articles. Facebook creeps me out.

This period-lite writing inspired not just by that movie which is pretty good really fast and entertaining with music is done by our old friend Trent Reznor but just now I read this little article about another article about Mr. Reznor's views on Facebook such as this summary his of thoughts: "people don’t put their actual selves forward on the network and instead portray themselves as they want to be seen for whatever reason" which makes me think yeah what a bunch of fakers and then all of a sudden I find myself writing in a blog that I've been trying to post to on a regular basis since the summer and so far have been generally successful and recently I've noticed that the number of people reading the blog has been going up and I can attribute that to two changes; the first being consistency which is primarily the reason that more people visit but second, and maybe this is a distant second, removing the comment option the uncomfortable "0 comments" tag at the bottom of each post which always seemed to create the effect of speaking to an empty room regardless of whether anybody was reading or not.

But I want to circle back to Mr. Reznor's comment about Facebook, that is, of course its a false image that gets presented. That is to say I really overuse the phrase 'that is to say' or 'that said' but it seems useful. That is to say this blog, if it wasn't obvious, is actually not me. It's artifice intentionally made to do intentional things. Like a screwdriver or a banana cream pie. It depends on how I use it which depends on how I slept last night speaking of which the bar across from where I live was bumping the worst trance music I have ever laid in my bed for two hours listening to. I wrote them this letter: "Dear Amnesia, It's 1:45 AM. Your fucking shitty shitty techno/trance has been keeping me up for the last hour and a half. I've called the police. You are a fucking horrible neighbor...." It goes on. I don't know if that will change anything but it felt good to write. This fact of feeling also seems like a legitimate way to go about making choices.