While preparing dinner last night (eggs with spinach, garlic, some pumpkin gnocchi that I got from Rainbow grocery) I listened to Karen Armstrong, a writer on religion, speaking on the local public radio's City Arts & Lectures series, and was supremely riveted; listening to her speak about the history of religion, laterally moving between topics such as Brahmans, printing presses, politics, and Nazis. She has a new book about that is a kind of counter argument or response to the Christopher Hitchens anti-religion writings, and after finishing dinner,and doing the dishes I sat in the dark kitchen listening while the cats did laps around my legs looking for pets.

Today on Wikipedia I gathered that she's a popular writer on religion, and there was all kinds of discussion on the back end of the article about her particular biases, tunnel vision, selective facting, and the her self-educated-ness suggesting that she is a kind of huckster. Malcolm Gladwell, similarly and more obviously a kind of huckster, on the same program about six months go was asked about the differences between popular and academic writing. He said that academic writing presents both sides of an issue with an intentions towards fairness, while popular writing has no responsibility or claim on presenting the truth. I recommend listening to this Karen Armstrong interview, not the one I heard (unfortunately City Arts & Lectures is not archived) but she touches on many of the same ideas.

In other news, a couple announcements: about twenty pages of sort of new work is out in Essays & Fictions # five. There are a couple of short essays, and a long memoir-ish piece, made up quite of few things that originally appeared on this blog, granted, they have been worked and reworked over the last couple years. The issue is available on-line for free, but I recommend the print version because the pages are bigger and is a little easier to read. Also, on the topic of me, I've added arras.net to the links on the right, Brian Kim-Stefans' site, which is chock full of just about every media you could imagine, all in the name of poetry. If you click on the video link, you will find some movies starring yours truly as well as my roommate (he's in the "vex" series). Along with lots of other funny/weird/interesting video pieces. My favorite is the one about the raviolis.

When I was in fifth grade I had a crush on another fifth grader named Erin. She had blond hair cut short, covering her ears not quite down to her neck. She was not in my class but in the one next door and I would catch glimpses of her during recess, or when our class used the computers. One day towards the end of the year, when all the fifth grade classrooms were having an open "party," I saw her dancing to the Salt n' Pepa song "Push It" and felt unsure of my affection. I actually had a crush on her since the second grade.

Soon after, in my mother's basement, I looked up her number in the phone book, finding the listing under her mother's name with the help of my friend Aric. He was more advanced than me when it came to romance, having "gone out" with multiple girls and generally, was a little more street smart. It was tense; picking up the phone, putting it back down, trying to back out, laying on the bed, hoping my mom didn't come in, pleading a little, thinking twice, doubting. Aric kept me on task.

I dialed and her mother answered. I asked for "Erin" with an E, though, having a best friend named "Aaron" with an A, I was always a little unsure how to pronounce Erin with an E, and pronounced the E with a little bit more nasally sound, as in the word "See." Whereas, normally, when pronouncing Aaron's name, I would pronounce it with an A, as in "fat." Ehir-rin vs. Air-ron. I asked: is Ehir-rin there? Her mother said yes, hold on, and in her walk to find her daughter, she jokingly proclaimed to somebody else in the room, "Is Ehir-rin here?" emphasizing the high nasally sound. I imagined a divorced mother with a single child speaking and joking with her girlfriends about the little boys calling her daughter. I imagined I was not the first to do so, and imagined a nest of women rolling their eyes at my transparent little boy-ness. When Erin came on the line, without introducing myself, I said, "You probably don't know who this is...." Aric burst out laughing and I hung up.

how Danneil Tammet (who has autism) visualizes some numbers ...seems right to me...

The Truth About The Swine Flu

I don't know the truth about the swine flu. However, I do know that last Sunday I came down with a flu that lasted throughout the week, and like most flues, there was a fever, a sweaty body, a sweaty forehead, an "ache", a sore throat, a generalized terrible feeling, one that was both existential and physical (if there's a difference), followed by low energy, a cough, green snot, and a few piles of work that were not gotten to. From what I understand, if it was the swine flu, the problem is not the flu itself but right afterwords, as one begins to feel better and resume normal activities, BAM! it hits you: bacterial infection in your upper respiratory track! And then you die and will go to either heaven, or to hell.

Part of the confusion about what that/this was, is because I did not see a doctor. A year or so ago I signed up for Healthy San Francisco, but after going to a couple appointments with what was supposed to be a steady doctor and instead was a couple disjointed appointments with interns who were leaving in six weeks, I stopped paying my premium of fifty dollars a month because, as Amy informed me, all the services that Healthy SF provides we already available to me through clinics. The only difference is that if enrolled in the program, one gets a "primary care physician", which was not working out...anyway, to make a long story short, I didn't go to see a doctor, Bought cans of soup, slept, "took care", went to work, rode the BART, and worked with students. They tell you to stay home, but I don't think too many people have that option.

Yesterday morning after taking a trip to grocery store, able enough to be out about, I spoke to my mother. She said that she had a flu a couple months ago that came and went, and came and went with other members of our family in Wisconsin, and that was that. Friend Bill had a flu about three weeks ago. My therapist told me he was going to wipe the door knob after I left his office. Friends Thom and Corrie, who I hadn't seen for a year and a half spontaneously came into town for lunch yesterday but no hugs or handshakes were exchanged. Friend Anna who just got back from a ten day meditation experienced flu like symptoms but didn't pay them much attention. She recommended that I get a neti pot to clean out my sinuses. Roommate Chris wonders out loud if he will get sick. Cats seemed to enjoy my apparent transition from human into cat, sleeping as much as possible.