the following are three reviews of local pizza places that i wrote in application for a job as a "pizza reviewer" as found on craigslist:

Arinell Pizza is a quick and delicious New York style slice served by the punkiest of punk rockers along Valencia Street in the heart of San Francisco’s Mission district. The slices are thin and plain, and while most ask for their slices plain in the traditional wide slice style, you are welcome to add toppings. Their oven renders the slices with a hint of carbon that approaches classic thin crust perfection provided that you get your slices fresh, which rarely happens if ordering by the slice. Your best bet is to order a whole or a half pizza for guaranteed excellence. Arinell is perfect for the quick lunch slice or before you hit the bars (if you're into that kind of thing).

Serrano’s Pizza, located on 21st and Valencia in San Francisco’s Mission District, is a richly rewarding pizza nook, perfect for picking up a fresh and hot slice on a Friday after work and you’re just too tired or depressed to worry about making dinner. Though the crust and sauce are nothing special, Serrano’s huge list of California fresh toppings and specialty pizzas keep things interesting. That, and the fact that if you order a slice, they make it from scratch (four dollars for two toppings on a large slice and a fifteen minute wait). Yes!

Cable Car Pizza, located on Valencia, between 16th and 17th streets in San Francisco’s Mission district is your typical Lebanese mediocre pizza heat lamp, one that blares techno at inappropriate volumes to an empty room full of plastic tables. Their slices are large and greasy and completely unremarkable. If you’re in the mood for “pizza,” in as generic a sense as that word could mean, Cable Car Pizza will fit the bill. On the upside, there are plenty of seats and unlike most pizza places on and off Valencia, you would be able to fit more than six people inside the restaurant.